Catching up on blogging since it's midterm week, I found a post - parts of it anyway - on Material Maidel's blog that describes me, at least, pseudo-halachically, to a tee:
http://materialmaidel.blogspot.com/2009/02/hating-half-jew.html
"A Half Jew, one who has only one parent who is Jewish, most often a father, has a unique identity... a Half Jew may be much more aware of what being Jewish means than most of us who conveniently were born into the faith. While knowledge is not enough for inclusion in our tribe, an overwhelming amount of children born to Jews today are not Jewish according to Halacha."
I am one of those who definitely know what its like to be "much more aware of what being Jewish means..." People I see at Hillel here, they don't do anything Shabbos-dik after Friday night dinner. They come to Hillel, for services and dinner (or just one or the other); dressed like they're going to a club! Which may very well be the case since we're at this major university in the midwest. It was on the national rankings for parties, best this, best that; I have even seen ads in the school paper, that lets everyone know when Playboy is coming to look for new 'talent.' Nevermind that the school is fantastic for anything academically-unusual you want to do, but most people don't care about the academics here. 'Least the undergrads. Luckily, I'm not in that bracket, but would have loved to go here for grad school. Too bad it didn't work out. But back to the original topic here.
I know that, what I consider myself is disliked by the minority. I am willing to follow halacha but I don't feel I should have to convert. I do more, or try to, anyhow; and know more, then MOST of the people at Hillel. Why doesn't the Israeli Rabbinate make a law that says that people-born-Jewish-but-don't-do-anything should have to convert before they can do anything, too?!
Seems like I can't win with this. I'm fighting something that I don't wan --that I'm tired of fighting. This needs to stop. I want it to stop before I end up someplace new in August. I don't want this to follow me. Unless the rabbis have already saved me that trouble, of course.
However, if there are indeed "an overwhelming amount of children born to Jews today are not Jewish according to Halacha," maybe all I need to do is find one. We'd both consider ourselves Jewish; he might have to be open to the idea of a sheitel and Taharat Hamishpacha, but that would be something to get used to, no pun intended.
Know anyone like this? Please e-mail me if you do, it would be much appreciated.
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I used to know a woman who has a Jewish father and a strong connection to orthodox Judaism. Converting officially was just a matter of dotting the i's and crossing the t's. She already was Jewish internally-- this was just a matter of going through the paperwork.
There are lots of halachic rules that I don't like, but go along with because I love the rest of the package that is orthodox judaism. We don't get to pick and choose.
Also, there's nothing in halacha that says that you have to be legally Jewish before you can do *anything*-- just that you have to be halachically Jewish before you can fully keep shabbos (which, for one friend of mine just means pushing a button on her cell phone before the end of shabbos) and before you drink non-mevushal wine with folks.
I think you're going to have a hard time finding a man who wants keep all of halacha except that one bit about needing to be halachically Jewish. Honestly, I think it's stupid and unfair-- but is this really a battle that you want to fight if you're already interested in keeping halacha? You wouldn't be asked to do anything for a conversion that you're not interested in doing anyway (except going through the beis din, but is avoiding that really worth all the heartache you're setting yourself up for).
(BTW-- I wrote that email to you before I read this. Sorry about the confusion.)
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