Sunday, July 27, 2008

what do to, what to do?

I just found out that a friend has a job offer in Belgrade! I should be, and I am, happy for her, but that's the latest friend who's work, or schooling, has taken them abroad. Not counting E, K is in Helsinki, T/N is, or will be soon in Cairo, with her husband; N applied for a job in Baku.

Where does that leave me? I'm still in the U.S. Figuring out what to do and where to go with my life academically or professionally.

I sit here watching "Kadosh" reading the Spanish subtitles, and I feel that that religious a life is not for me. I think of the few Frum girls I know, Black Hat or Chabad, a few years younger than myself, already married and living in New York. Their facebook pictures, or stories on others' walls telling the latest news of their acquaintances. In their pictures these girls, livin' it up in New York, are dressed funky yet frum, as religious law dictates, seem to have have a care in the workd. They have their sheitels. Their husbands. Life is set for them. They don't have to worry about anything else. One has been married a few months, her sister set to marry in September; the other just over a year, gave birth to a baby boy.

Thinking about religion versus my academic life, I need to get one situated before the other. I don't know what I'm going to do academically. I wan--no, I need to get out of here. Nothing is working out financially, and I have no other options for next year. No money to go anywhere, and there's no point in staying if I can't take another year of coursework. I could Au Pair, but I have no momey for the flight, even if the couple did want me to come over in the next 3 weeks. Which won't happen, because we haven't really corresponded. Well, I have a wedding to be at on the 8th. Maybe I can figure things out while I'm there. Money options, work options.

PS: Malka's wedding dress I don't particularly care for. I'm not the one who married in it, so I guess I don't have to worry about it.

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